“I can smell the ocean” i said.
My head was heavy. The voices were loud. The sky was gloomy and dark but my tears fell harder than the rain that never came. All i can think about is a quiet place to let go of everything. To let go of me. To go to the other side. To just end it all.
Then i see the water. It wasn’t as blue as I thought it might be, but i can still see the calmness that flows with everything in it. I can smell the ocean from miles away. What a perfect place to end everything.I had no idea how i ended up there. My tears run out when i finally stop the bike and take a breath. One phone call. One phone call is all i need.
I wanted to see how much i meant for the people around me. I wanna make sure how worthless i am so i can leave this earth in peace. Oh for sure the next destination will be hell but at least no one’s going to care about one soul missing from this earth.Then i realized that my worth is not more than some simple text messages. Everybody’s just too busy with their life and that’s what i meant for them. A stupid little text message.
Disappointed? a little bit. But it just showed me that i have no bigger reason to go on so let me just be one with the ocean. Let me drown in peace and let the earth take me back to the creator.
And so i jumped. At least, that was my intention.
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