I’ve been trying to fall asleep like a normal person but for the past year it’s been hard to do so. The fact that the room that i’m staying for sleep is not really comfortable to begin with, the fact that i don’t have a peace of mind just make everything worse. I can never wake up with a fresh mind and body nor sleeping with peace in my head.
It’s hard for me just to stay sane. Sometimes i just need a little time to unload all the craziness inside my head but i don’t think anybody has the time for that. I don’t think anybody should care anyway and i call bullshit for those who say they do. Prove me wrong. At least, now that i’m all alone, no matter what happen to me will have no impact on anybody. Whether i’m happy, sad, or even dying. The sun will rise, the water will flow and everything will still be how it always been. It doesn’t matter, I don’t matter.
Honestly, this will be a perfect time for me to just completely dissappear, back to ashes. No one will know, no one will care, it’s just gonna be between me and god. I know for a fact that everyone who forget or at least trying to do so about me, will ended up living a happier life. Time will heal, they said. But i guess i can never be healed. And to make things worse, sometimes it’s hard for me to just let things slide, and i envy for those who can just put some memories away and continue living life normally as if nothing ever happened.
Thank’s for all the laughter, the lies, the broken dreams, the promised future that i might never own, and thank’s for making me realize that at the end of the day i am just a piece of rusty nail who serve nothing in this world. Am i being ungrateful? Probably. And that’s another reason for why a person like me will be better gone forever.
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