If you think losing everyone and everything is the best thing that ever gonna happen to your life, believe me I’ll be cheering for that. It’s been a crazy journey and I don’t see an end yet. It’s all just fucked up. People say that you get some you lose some. But I feel like I get less than what I lost.
It’s fine. It has to be. I’ll be dead if it isn’t. Some people tagged me as one of the worst kind of human being and I can’t blame them for that. It’s just feel a bit unfair since they don’t even know how’s my journey of life so far. They will always nitpicking and highlight even the smallest mistake that I made and completely ignore the rest.
Yes I don’t really have that much of achievements but my god, when I joke about how bad I wanna die believe me I do. But since my death will just give more trouble for those who stay alive, I just have to hardly endure all of the temptation that makes me crazy everyday.
I sincerely thank you for everyone who’s been helping me through bad days and bad times. Even though I know those who helped me look at me like some kind of demon and regret everything they ever done to me (in terms of reducing my pain). I agree that I’m the one to be blamed. Just like I always do.
But I also sincerely fuck you all for regretting your own decision for helping me but keep badmouthing me after the fact. I have nothing much to say, I personally feel done in life but I guess I still a bit of hope and things that I want to experience and that’s why I try my best to survive everyday.