Oh, sorry for the title. I really wanna scream but i just can’t. The world isn’t big enoug for me so i can’t let go all of my feelings. I’m just having a bad day, all of sudden every single emotion on me just burst out of nowhere. I’m mad, dissapointed but mostly i just feel sad. Like a big fat sad. Maybe i need help, maybe i don’t. I don’t think there will be anyone who can understand how i feel. Ah shit, my head hurt.
I took a breath for awhile and i feel a little lighter. But still, i feel like a sparkle could ignite a ticking bomb inside of me. I don’t know. I don’t fucking know. So how’s life for you? Can i be selfish for a little while now? Is it me who become denial about everything or is it the world around me who actualy become a living hell?
I’m envy for those who have a thick walls around them and can say anything outloud. I feel like i can never really express myself to the fullest. I feel like my throat is always being chocked and i can’t breath easily. It feels heavy. Everything’s sucks. I want to get the hell out of this earth. I want to go back 15 years ago where things are infinitely better. But i guess i can’t. Even if i can, there’s no guarantee that i will not ended up to feel the same way as i do today.
Yes i know the world is in the brink of a war, and i’m here being a little whiny kid bitching about life. So what? what are you going to do about it? No i’m not okay, is it wrong to be not okay?