I don’t know if it’s me or the whole world gone freezing. I spent my whole day sleeping on my bed simply because I couldn’t stand the cold. I woke up for couple of times but I ended up closing my eyes again and again. I have my to-do list now and no matter at what hour I woke up, I’ll try to finish each of them.
It’s been weird, for the past couple months everything feels so weird to me. I don’t know what I’ve been through. Everything’s just feels like it’s out of this world. I’ve lost so many things. Even my own will to achieve simply anything. Well, no matter who or what to blame there’s nothing gonna change like at all. Everything will stay the same.
But just like what I said earlier, I can only continue moving forward. The past will be in the past, the future is where I’m heading. What kind of future? I have no idea. For those who ever stepped a brick on my life line, I can only say sorry and thank you. Oh man… as I’m writing this piece of crap, there’s a lot of stupid little things that keeps bothering me.
For example, the trouble that my little sister gave to the whole family while she can’t access her school e-learning website. She keeps telling my mom to buy her some mobile data so she can access the school site. But then I checked on the site and the problem is not on the ISP, like we paid a lot for internet and we don’t need another bills. The site was literally down but these kids will have no idea and they’re too scared to ask.
It’s easier to blame something else when we don’t know exactly what the problem is. And that’s bad. People are just dumb in general, and I’m not an exception. Talking about my little sister, someone said to me ‘You should take care of your family’. Blind. You’re blind. That’s what I’ve been doing for the past couple years and yet you telling me that like I’ve never done anything for my family.
So now what? I bet if I really look into life itself, I can find some valuable options which I can try but for now, the circumstances will not allow me to do so. If you keep pushing me forward I may ended up jumping from a bridge.