I was mad. That night, i was cleaning my room that i thought it wasn’t really looking good. It’s been a usual behavior for me to do these kind of cleaning thing, even if i’m a boy. Indeed, it’ll be a different story if i was in home. Somehow i become more diligent when i’m anywhere else but home. Well, turns out that bad things is gonna happen.
I opened some box that include some staffs that i don’t really know what was it. Books, plates, posters, bag, even a hanger, it’s just like there could be anything inside. Basically, i emptying the cupboard, bookshelf, also some boxes that shattered on the corner of the room.
I sorted some stuffs and choose some of them that i think i can get rid of it. I don’t really have a problem on that time, at least. There are lots of thought that haunting me.
I got some problem that i have to face with, the fears of getting more problem while i can’t even face the current one. All the little things that fuc*ed me up like my laptop charger that suddenly blow up, my phone that suddenly broken. Even some brats that come ask for my help while they’ve been gone for months without even say hello to me.
The worst thing happened.
In the middle of my activities, suddenly i got a news from my parent .They told me that one of my friend came to my house and told me a lot of bad things that happens with me. I swear to god i don’t wanna anyone to do that : talking shi* about me without my permission!
I can’t really tell you what was it, honestly i didn’t know what they were talking about. But one thing that i know, my life can be ruined exactly on that time. My campus life doesn’t really going well, i can tell that i’m almost get expelled.
I don’t know what happened , but suddenly my parent asked me for some of my transcript of score from my studies. I know exactly what will happen next.
My life is ruined. All the problem that i kept form my parent (cause i know that if they know all the things, it’ll be the end for me) one by one uncovered and in the end it leads me to my doom.
All my rage was on fire, my head was spinning around, trying to hold all the emotion which can be exploded at anytime. It’s a good thing that i’m somehow getting to used with these kind situation, so i got a better control over myself.
I don’t know how but it happened anyway.
Why the heck is this happening when i was in process of fixing myself, solving my problems but then suddenly getting hit by something that almost impossible for me to face with. Life isn’t always fair for me.
Most of the time, i blame the others of any problem that i encountered. Even if i realize that actually all of them was caused by me.
So what’s the point? I don’t get it. Three are lot of things that i can’t say here, and that’s become a little dot of emptiness which lead into uselessness of this note.
The point is, me, having a shit tons of trouble and trying to work on it but then get thrown by a big big rock which hitting me with an instant kill. And this time, it was caused by someone who made me sick by just imagine it.